Suffering never leaves

You know those poems and songs that talk about a broken heart? About the pain they went through or the "sorrow" they felt. Well folks, it's alive out there and riding my shoulder. >_>

Now matter how far i run i always seem to be stuck in my tracks with these pains running through my heart. *weeps* inside i feel like a hot plate and the burner is flaming through my heart! My poor heart has been through so much and at last it seemed to seal itself... so I thought. *sigh* instead I find myself peering over and glaring the worst possible thing in the face. "What if?" i tell myself... >_> *sigh* The feeling is so real yet I feel like no has had this sharp dagger through their heart. Mine comes and goes... I have good days and I have bad. Recently I've been fine but, my trip has opened up that wound and I accidently poured lemon juice on it! ugh, the pain!

You may laugh and most will never understand. I feel sick. I feel like hiding. I'm shaky and weak not to mention cold. *holds self* I understand why people should never depart each other. ooooo... it kills. :( no smily face can show the feelings... I would only get in trouble if I announced everything. I just wish someone would understand. *tear*

Packs

Every good traveler must have a good pack... right? well, I was over in REI and this guy gave me great advice on which back pack i should have. he started telling me about this pac. I thought "My gosh this is the one." Opens on top (good for holding and horriable for stealing, a plus), it is 33 liters (can hold lots of stuff), very durable (wonderful i dont have to worry about falling and scraping it and all my things falling out), water resistant (awesome, a quick dip in lakes, rivers, and pools or whatever else i fall into wont ruin EVERYTHING), and the best part is the color scheme... BRIGHT COLORS (when i drop the bag, i can find it!). So, he shows me this bag and i gasp and laugh. i could imagine myself with it and being stuck on the escelator (dunno why i would have it with me on it), trees, bushes, doorknobs, railing, doors, anything that can catch. this pack had soooo many drawstings it looked like my cat, charlie, shredded it! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha... well, who knows it will give me a good laugh and maybe amuse the natives! hahahahahahahahaha

Planning

No one told me that planning a trip would be this difficult. ugh!

first, i had to figure out what times I'm going to be staying. CHECK!

second, where am i going? CHECK

third, how long will i stay in one location?

-are there girl dorm rooms available?

-when are the times and dates for the sights?

-blah blah blah. then i go into transportation, then times for that, sleeping arrangements

DONT FORGET FOOD... does the hostel provide breakfast or any other meal, if not, budget how much it will cost for each day and pray for a low cost hostel with food, sheets, girl dorms, and wifi.

haha. this will be worth it and fun. i just think that all this is overwhelming. then, if that weren't enough i have to think of what to bring. Right now i'm figuring out what ear plugs to bring (lol, im picky). I can't help being a girl! >.<>

mmmmmmm... i may write a song about this. it shall be called "packing." haha.

I DID IT

wow. i actually did it.

I joined a ballet class (i am doing excellent)

I quit my job (actually i got"laid off"* <----- means I got fired in korean term)

and I BOUGHT MY PLANE TICKET!

wow. not only that but i've checked out many schools and found one! holy crap I'm proud of myself.

lol. it's amazing what just two weeks can change someone's life. AMAZING!!!!!

i wonder sometimes why I even write. Does anyone read these? haha.

hmmmmm... i even got a ticket to do a trapeze class. I'll do it next week. haha

OKIE DOKIE! NEW GOALS!!!

GOAL #1: DANCE!

GOAL #2: GET NEW JOB!

GOAL #3: BUY PLANE TICKET

GOAL #4: MAKE RESERVATIONS

GOAL #5: LEAVE TO EUROPE!

NEW YEARS!

lol oh yes, another year! haha

well there is usually something you differently and goals you would like to reach. well, i'm wayyyyy ahead of the game. I do GREAT finically (getting a new job soon), My weight is perfect (signed up for a ballet class on the 4th), and my schooling is done. I just need to travel which i have no plans now. :( sadness. haha! heehee. new year's resolution! ha!

ok. i figured it out: must get traveling plans and get to it! hmmmmmmm.... following through, always a struggle for me! lol LOOK a shiny sparkly object!!! *where?* lol

my oh my, i hope i get to do all the things I have wanted to!

The HUNT TO TRAVEL

There must be some way to travel. I shall find the way! haha! maybe I should pray first! LOL